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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD???
TEACHER
To get to the other side.
PLATO
For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE
It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY
Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN
I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening it's dominant
market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create
and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.
Anderson Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped
the
chicken by rethinking it's physical distribution strategy and implementation
process. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Anderson helped the
chicken use it's skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences
to
align the chickens people, processes and technology in support of it's
overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Anderson Consulting
convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along
with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to
engage in a two day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their
personal
knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize
with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and
successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value
framework
across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held
in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which
was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent,
clear
and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision
and
core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business
integration solution.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black
man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.
MOSES
And God came down from the Heavens, and he said unto the chicken, "Thou
shalt
cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to
cross the road for you to believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken DID NOT cross the
road.
MACHIAVELLI
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of
crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD
Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to
ask,
"What the heck was the chicken doing wandering around all over the place
anyway?"
FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual security.
BILL GATES
I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000 (with integrated Internet
Seed Explorer), which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file
your
important documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE
The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is,
"Who is crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste
to observe the chicken crossing?
DARWIN
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a
way that they are genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken
depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA
Asking the question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON
The chicken did not cross the road... it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SAUNDERS
I missed one?
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